Burn Through the Witches

slam in the back of this upcoming season of Dragula, with a special guest contributor!

Halloween is coming up next week, and it is by far my girlfriend’s favorite holiday. (Get bent, Arbor Day!) I knew I wanted to cover a special topic in honor of her, and I couldn’t think of a better idea than to prognosticate the fifth season of The Boulet Brothers’ Dragula. Luckily for both of us it premieres on October 31st, only on Shudder and AMC+.

[Girlfriend note: contrary to popular belief, he can be sweet sometimes!]

Oh, I should probably mention that I’ve invited said girlfriend to help me write this article, as she actually has people pay her for what she writes. Her writing will be formatted in italics as above, and will be far superior to mine. Substack is limited on things like font and color, or else I would make her text super pretty (just like her!). Just as you know me by a pseudonym, please refer to her as Thea Rettical (Thea for short).

For those of you unfamiliar with Dragula, think of it like the alternative version of RuPaul’s Drag Race. Sure there are drag artists competing against one another for fame and fabulous payoffs, but that’s where the comparisons end. The hosts are the Boulet Brothers, two life partners who have made their love of drag and horror into a career thanks to their abilities as producers, directors, writers, musicians, and artists. Swanthula (a.k.a. Little Boulet) and Dracmorda (a.k.a. Big Boulet) went from making horror comic books to holding their own fantastical nightclub shows, bringing together assorted Creatures of the Night into a community of ghoulish transgressive performance artists.

Their show is a direct outgrowth of those club shows, where drag artists would take a stab (pun fully intended) at remixing traditional ball culture into a horror framework. The tone could vary wildly, either in the vein of kitschy horror hosts like Ghoulardi and Elvira, or truly disturbing acts more akin to a GG Allin show than a cheesy B-movie. Once they refined their tastes, they decided to break out of the nightclub scene and garner a wider audience through audiovisual presentations. Thus, Dragula was born. Dragula focuses on four key elements:

• Drag

  • The Boulets interpret this differently than some other competitions. Rather than requiring a reinterpretation of gender identity or sexual orientation as in mainstream drag, Dragula includes all kinds of playing with perception. Sexuality and gender are just two of the facets that can be satirized, tweaked, or parodied. Contestants are not limited to gay-identifying AMABs portraying feminine characters; competitors have included AFAB performers and those using masculine aesthetics, commonly known as “drag kings”.

• Glamour

  • If you couldn’t tell by the appearance of the Boulets themselves, aesthetic appeal is paramount in the Dragula presentation. Hitting the mark for this element requires a deliberate decision to elevate the look of a performance, including hair, makeup, and costuming. Even in movement and timing, every act should radiate elegance. Most importantly, no club kid shoes. The majority of Dragula artists are working with more limited budgets and resources than Drag Race, so using what you have effectively is paramount.

• Horror

  • Each walk down the runway should make the audience’s skin crawl at least a little. Equally as important as the “scare” is the way that the artist uses both new and existing horror iconography in their presentation. In the same manner that the best mainstream drag puts an emphasis on incorporating queer history, Dragula’s alternative drag pays homage to those that came before them. Familiarity with all of the classic imagery, whether it’s Universal monster movies, Eighties slasher flicks, or grimy Italian giallo is necessary for success. Playing with horror tropes is not only allowed but strongly encouraged.

• Filth

  • Simply put, the “filth” aspect is about pushing the limits of good taste as a deliberately transgressive act. By defying societal expectations of proper behavior, artists can hold a mirror to what makes us a society to begin with. Filth presentations in the past have included creative use of all manner of bodily fluids and excretions, up to and including urine, blood, feces, and vomit. The only limits are what the artist puts on themselves. (Though the network has pumped the brakes on a couple of things like menstrual blood.) That doesn’t mean the filth is confined to physical limitations; some of the best “filth” acts have relied entirely on psychological boundary pushing.

Like most hour-long reality shows, there are multiple rounds of competitions per episode. On Drag Race they’re called the “mini challenge'“ and the “maxi challenge”, on Great British Bake Off they’re the “signature”, “technical”, and “show-stopper”, while on Ink Masters they’re the “flash challenge” and the “elimination challenge”. Unlike those shows, on Dragula there are three sections. After a short challenge called the “Fright Feat”, the primary competition takes up the majority of each episode called the “floor show”. The losers of that portion are then tasked with participating in the “extermination challenge”, which incorporates either a filth or fear-based theme. Previous challenges have included:

• Skydiving

• Eating Fear Factor style unsavory foods

• Temporary surface piercings with large gauge needles

• Intentionally bad tattoos

• Thea’s favorite: being pressed against a wall by a latex sheet that is then vacuumed tight [Note: NOT THEA’S FAVORITE!]

After the extermination, the loser of that challenge is whisked away by production to a set where the Boulet Brothers film a horror movie style death scene with the losing contestant in a starring role. As the budget has continually increased over five seasons, the production values for the death scenes have similarly increased. These range from the elaborate, complete with prosthetics and special effects, to the simple fake knife to the back. (You can usually tell which contestants earned the ire of the Boulets and/or the production team by how uncool their deaths are.)

Once the contestants are narrowed down sufficiently (usually to three, sometimes to four), they compete in a winner-takes-all floor show that has separate performances for each of the core subjects. Prior to that, though, all of the “deceased” participants are brought back for the “Last Supper”, one of the messiest and most drama-filled events in all of reality TV. The Boulets hold court and air out any grievances that may have built over the season, including contestants that take issue with how production runs the show. This episode is usually the highlight of the season just on sheer pettiness and interpersonal conflict.

Ultimately, the winner of the final floor show is crowned “The World’s Next Drag Supermonster”, issued a crown and scepter, and handed a stack of cash. The first two seasons earned their winners (Vander Von Odd and Biqtch Puddin respectively) $10,000, while Landon Cider in season three won $25,000 and The Dahli netted a whopping $100,000 for winning season four. Two spin-offs have also taken place. The first was the one-off Resurrection featuring contestants who production thought could have gone farther in their respective seasons vying for a second chance, where Saint came out on top. The full season Titans served as an All-Star competition featuring the best of the best with Victoria Elizabeth Black winning the crown.

Perhaps watching this season’s official cast reveal will help matters. I’ve helpfully embedded the promotional video below:

Below, we’ll go through each of the contestants in the order we believe they’ll finish, along with their official promo pictures (taken by Scotty Kirby of AMC+) and their Instagram accounts if you’d like to take a deeper dive into their drag. We know that there are supposed spoilers out there, but we are doing our absolute best to steer clear of them in advance of writing this preview. Let’s get started with who we will believe will earn the Wooden Spoon for the season. At number eleven…

---

11. Satanna

Hometown: Los Angeles, CA, USA

Pronouns: She / Her, They / Them

“Hi, I’m Satanna. I’m a dystopian sex doll, ready to show my fierceness.”

I know this is kind of rude, but I couldn’t even make it through her intro Instagram reel. She seems pretty boring, as in she’s pretty AND she’s boring. I think she’s going to rely on being pretty and sexy and won’t look bad to win. Unfortunately for them, filth is a requirement for this show. If they can’t do it, they’re out.

Like Thea said, I don’t think Satanna’s drag is necessarily suited to this environment. In the past, some contestants have treated Dragula as a “Plan B” when Drag Race doesn’t work out. (You know who you are, Merrie.) Satanna seems to be the same situation, where they think “traditional” drag skills are going to carry them through. If there’s no filthy gory heart at their core, their days are numbered.

10. Cynthia Doll

Hometown: Kansas City, MO, USA

Pronouns: She / Her

“I’m the high fashion whore bitch from Kansas City, Missouri!”

Cynthia claims she’s “not drama but dramatic”, and I honestly don’t believe her. She has center of attention vibes, and I get the feeling that if people aren’t paying attention to her, she’ll make them pay attention. I’m a sucker for drama, so I’m counting on her to bring it.

Cynthia strikes me as the kind of drag artist whose personality doesn’t match their aesthetic. Based on her appearance, she seems to be cut from the Drag Race mold more than anything alternative. However, her personality shows through in her promo package to the point where she could potentially go far. There’s one thing that seals the deal for me for this rating, though: club kid shoes. Immediate out.

9. Blackberri

Hometown: Houston, TX, USA

Pronouns: She / Her, He / Him

“My name is Blackberri, and I’m known as the bearded beauty of Texas!”

The Houston drag scene is full of energetic, effervescent, and most especially entertaining performers, and Blackberri seems to fit right in that mold. She embraces how different she is from the typical drag performer: bearded, Black, and big. That can be a real differentiator for her, but it can also be a double-edged sword. If she doesn’t adapt quickly to the Dragula tenets, it could be a short run indeed.

This intro look is EVERYTHING. Elegance, latex, and ribcage…what more could a girl want? She’s definitely right in that “we need a Black girl, we need a thick girl, we need a bearded queen with a title”. I love that she has such a clear aesthetic. She has a good balance between horror and glamor with this outfit, but I’m really hoping she can bring the filth.

8. Onyx Ondyx

Hometown: Philadelphia, PA, USA

Pronouns: She / Her

“My name is Onyx Ondyx and I’m the commodity of oddities and the freak show from Philadelphia!”

Onyx is filth through and through. Her stage shows are legendary, with all manner of stunts and tricks on the offer. Someone who brags about their use of fireworks in an orifice not normally associated with incendiary devices can probably set the tone for extreme acts. I think there’s a good chance that she doesn’t get to show off what she can do thanks to the prudes at network Standards and Practices, and more’s the pity for us all.

Onyx is going to make me turn away from the screen…in a good way. She incorporates a lot of body horror into her performances, and those get to me sometimes. She’s going to be GREAT for exterminations. I can see her being up for anything. She did say she’s willing to do “theft, tax fraud, cannibalism, murder, human trafficking” to win, but she’s “not willing to forfeit [her] good morals.” (LK, sorry for adding your site to many government watch lists!) I’m curious to see how she does with glamour or if she relies on her filth.

7. Orkgotik

Hometown: Buenos Aires, Argentina

Pronouns: He / Him

“Orkgotik — the Lord’s favorite, a delusional narcissist, and all four horsemen of the apocalypse!”

Orkgotik’s intro look is very creepy. This one is going to stick with me for awhile. While I like the overall aesthetic, I don’t think he’ll go super far since his main motivation isn’t drag. His ultimate goal is to be a filmmaker. Kudos to him for knowing what he wants, but too bad it isn’t being the next drag supermonster.

Aesthetic is important for a drag supermonster, but it’s the drive to be the most captivating personality in any given room that will take the crown. I think Orkgotik is more in the HoSo Terra Toma vein from season four and Titans, in that the inventiveness is his primary objective. Just like HoSo continually had problems with the mechanics of performance (like showing up on time and getting into costume), I dread the same for Orkgotik.

6. Throb Zombie

Hometown: Boston, MA, USA

Pronouns: They / Them

“I’m Throb Zombie, and I’m not your wet dream — I’m your bisexual wet nightmare.”

I’m always going to root for the kings, and Throb seems really fun! I like their passion for horror as well as their seemingly down to earth personality. I love this batty intro look, and I’m excited to see what other creature-themed looks are in store for them.

Throb’s look is both elevated and kitschy, which is a hard combination to pull off. It’s clear that horror-centric drag is their primary goal, not a side hustle or a way to steer eyeballs to their mainstream gigs (hey Merrie!). Their enthusiasm for everything horror comes through the screen like a tangible object. Throb’s lighthearted energy is refreshing too, as there is a tendency to veer towards the too-serious for performers on this show (hey Eve!).

5. Niohuru X

Hometown: Tianjin, China

Pronouns: She / Her, They / Them

“I’m known as a makeup icon, supermodel, a fashion entrepreneur, and your next drag supermonster!”

First things first: Niohuru X was accused of SA and coercion by a former friend in 2021, and those allegations resurfaced once she was rumored to be cast in this season of Dragula in addition to several other accusations. The official stance of this newsletter is to believe victims. As such, our perceptions of their drag are inevitably colored by their situation and we cannot be objective.

Niohuru’s entire aesthetic is geared towards disturbing the audience. Their looks incorporate just the right mix of filth and glamour to keep things interesting. Where I’m concerned is how well their integration of pop culture will work. Generally speaking, Dragula focuses on a Western idea of the horrific and the vile, and I don’t know if that can translate effectively.

Agreed, LK! HoSo had difficulties incorporating her culture into her drag because, unfortunately, people didn’t get it. Niohuru is extremely talented and one of the strongest looks in the competition. From her promo video, she seems kinda quiet, and the quiet ones are taken out pretty early. I’m also getting some Hollow Eve vibes from her, which can be a good and bad thing (I’m mostly thinking bad, though). I’m hoping her looks can speak for themselves and LK and I can judge her for her floorshows.

4. Jay Kay

Hometown: Brooklyn, NY, USA

Pronouns: They / Them

“My name is Jay Kay, I’m a demon monster clown from Brooklyn, and I just came here to have a good time!”

Jay Kay’s vibes are so much fun! I love the energy they bring. I couldn’t help but smile when I see them on the screen. I really want them to go far in this competition. Their potential struggle will be to stay true to themselves while still being the monster that the Boulets want. I can’t wait to see how they approach some of the challenges!

When the Boulet Brothers were searching for potential contestants, Season Four veteran La Zavaleta made sure to introduce them to Jay Kay with the warning that this was the most annoying person they knew. Considering Zavaleta is plenty annoying themselves, Kay was a no-brainer to include. I hope that their non-binary jester vibe remains light-hearted and uplifting throughout.

3. Fantasia Royale Gaga

Hometown: Miami, FL, USA

Pronouns: She / Her

“The prettiest, sexiest monster you ever would meet!”

BODY-ODY-ODY! I am LOVING Fantasia’s look. Classy Beetlejuice. She definitely fulfills the glamour category. I love that she’s no stranger to reality TV (spoiler alert: she won the first season of OutTV’s Hot Haus), so she’s going to be entertaining for sure. I’m predicting that she’s not going to take any crap [can I say crap?] (I’ll allow it.) from anyone, and will surely be the center of some drama. I’m looking forward to it.

Fantasia is going to be a force in this competition. Her personality is big, brash, and TV-ready to match her in-your-face aesthetic. In addition to Hot Haus, Fantasia has also been on Botched so she is versatile. The only concern I have is that she wouldn’t be as comfortable with the filth and horror elements that make up a supermonster.

2. Anna Phylactic

Hometown: Manchester, England, UK

Pronouns: She / Her, He / Him, They / Them

“Don’t f*** with me fellas, this ain’t my first time at the rodeo!”

Anna brings a strong veteran presence to the Dragula cast, having been a drag performer for years alongside their partner and housemate Cheddar Gorgeous. That’s right, the fourth season runner-up on Drag Race: UK is right in step with Anna. (Sorry for the spoilers.) In addition, they had a television show of their own following their drag family all across the UK. My only concern for Anna is whether they can adapt their British weirdness to a horror model; from what I’ve seen of their club shows, they’ve got filth in the bag.

So many international monsters! I love the “queen bee” look that Anna has here. Very fun and punny…and gorgeous. This intro look is like if Jinkx Monsoon and Rosé had a baby and left it with Joe Black for awhile. TRUST ME. If she doesn’t make it to the finale, we ride at dawn. The real test will be her filth, but I think her look and personality is perfect for the Boulets.

1. Jarvis Hammer

Hometown: Atlanta, GA, USA

Pronouns: He / Him

“I’m a ghost possessing the body of an infuriatingly tiny woman, so I suppose that makes me a drag king.”

The Dragula crown has already been won once by a drag king, the inimitable Landon Cider (who is returning as a rotating judge!) [swoon!], and I see no reason it shouldn’t happen again. Jarvis Hammer is also our hometown contestant, but I don’t think that plays into our decision much if at all. Hammer’s campy, kitschy horror vibe is thoroughly entertaining to me, and I believe he has what it takes to win it all. Someone described his drag as “a Scooby-Doo monster come to life” and if that doesn’t excite you I don’t know what to tell you.

Ditto! I love his combo of horror and comedy. Sometimes Dragula lacks the fun part of scary, and I think Jarvis is really going to bring it. It doesn’t hurt that he reminds me of a ghost from Disney’s The Haunted Mansion.

---

There you have it: our predictions for Dragula’s fifth season. Are we wrong? Most likely. Will we have fun watching anyway? Absolutely. Would we love some free swag from the Boulets, Shudder, or any of the drag artists we’ve mentioned today? Definitely. (Offers of merch and such can be sent to lk1933@substack.com or via all of my social media accounts found at my Linktree.)

I hope you enjoyed this week’s article. I know it’s a little off the beaten path of what you’ve come to expect, but it’s fun to branch out once in a while. Special thanks to Thea for pitching in. If you’d like to harangue her into writing more of her own stuff or collaborating further with me, click here. If you want to see more horror, drag, or just plain weird topics, let me know. If you want me to stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to, let me know that too (shout out to Jason Waterfalls).

I’ll see you next time with a topic yet to be determined. Suggestions are always welcomed, as well as pretty much any kind of engagement ever. Goodbye, uglies!